You Might Be a Mac Fanatic if...
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You might be a Mac fanatic if...
...you hear "cloners" and think of Apple's passing fancy with licensing before you think of stem cells. Or Koreans. Or Windows PCs. Or clones (the biological kind).
...your desk collapses and destroys more than three Macs in working order.
...you can assemble a complete working Mac computer from the parts of six broken ones around your house.
...you know the difference between LocalTalk and AppleTalk. And AppleTalk vs. Bonjour. And Bonjour vs. whatever-over-IP.
...you know that old Apple ADB cables are unshielded S-video cables. And you've used one to connect a video camera to a Mac - and used the camera to take a picture of its own cable.
...you have an Apple sticker from a new Mac you bought on your car. And your bathroom mirror. And your vegetable drawer in the refrigerator.
...you named your Mac's hard drive some cute name like "Froggy Bottom" instead of "C:"
...you know how to access a dropdown menu with a one-button mouse. And a two button mouse. And using a keyboard.
...you
know that the Apple-splat key is
called the Command key. You know that it actually means "interesting
place". But you call it Open-Apple as opposed to Closed-Apple.
...you ever talked anyone into buying a Mac instead of a PC. Which you demanded they return before you would offer to help pick a new Mac.
...you don't remember your anniversary, but you know what date in 1984 the Mac was introduced.
...you once wrote an essay for English class on the parallels between the 680x0 transition to PowerPC and the transition of PowerPC to Intel. And you got an A on it, because if it was so technical, it had to be good.
...you learned about PCs just so you could explain in detail why they aren't as good as Macs. And then you bought a PC for the same reason. You even bought an extra copy of off-the-shelf Windows installers just to be legal about it and have a variety of operating systems to criticize.
...in support of Apple, you refuse to wash the windows in your house just because of the association.
...you ever argued with a thrift-store owner or yard salesman about the actual value of a Mac they were trying to sell too cheaply. More than once. On the same day.
...you know who Leander Kahney is. And you have his book. And it's autographed. With a pen you got when visiting Apple HQ in Cupertino.
...you obsessively write partisan columns for a website or newsletter, because you can't help yourself. No, not like this one. Dull, boring ones no one wants to read.
...you ever criticized Dell for being "too cheap." And you still make fun of the "Dell Dude" even though he got fired. And everyone's forgotten about him anyway.
...you involuntarily laugh every time "Microsoft" and "innovation" are mentioned in the same sentence. You once snorted milk through your nose for the same reason. And you had to buy a new keyboard because of it.
...you know what the phrase "Monkeyboy" means in a computing context. You've seen more than one version of that famous video. And uploaded several to YouTube. Because it's new to someone.
...you know the difference between Steve Ballmer, Steve Jobs, and Steve Wozniak.
...you bought a Segway just because you want to be more like Woz. You dropped two syllables from your name for the same reason. Then you grew a beard.
...you own one share of Apple stock. Which is framed. Above your diploma.
...you've ever had a discussion with anyone about Macs while in a commercial setting such as an Apple Store. Or a CompUSA. Or a natural-foods grocery.
...you carefully scan the PC-only software aisle for the few cross-platform titles there just to prove the salesperson wrong. And buy them just to support the cross-platform concept. Even though you've never played the games you bought and never intended to.
...you've ever fixed a problem for a friend with a PC and mentioned you've never had that problem with your Mac. Except for that one time the motherboard died. Which you never admit to anyone but other Mac faithful.
...you've ever posted online anywhere a sentence with the phrase "Mac" in it. In ALL CAPS. While colored RED. In a giant font.
...you understand when the "i" is to be capitalized - and when it is not.
...you know everyone in your office who owns a Mac at home, and who doesn't.
...your Christmas ornaments look like little Mac SE's. And Flower Power iMacs. And original Toilet-Lid iBooks.
...you've ever read the contents of John Droz' Mac vs. PC site. All of it. Twice. In one day.
...you bought an iPod just as an excuse so you'd "need" to get a Mac later to be more compatible with it. And a Newton, just to complete the trifecta.
...you cried when you dropped your laptop (choke) . . . sorry, it's just so painful to remember.
...you'd rather use a Performa or a Power Mac 5200 before you'd use a new Windows Vista-ready machine. Or even a Mac SE. Heck, you'd use an Apple IIc with a broken power cord before a Vista Machine.
...you own more Macs than cars. And a greater proportion of the Macs are running.
...you own more Macs than chairs. And more Macs than shoes. And more Macs than books (not counting the books about Macs).
...you've given away more Macs than most people have ever seen in one place. Even in a Mac Lab. Next door to an Apple Store.
...you keep your desk clean just to make it match the Mac on your desk better. And then lied about it.
...you once did a search to try to find a virus to infect your Mac just to see what it was like. And couldn't find one. Or if you did, it didn't work right anyway.
...you sent flowers to Steve Jobs when he was in the hospital. In person. That you grew yourself. In the shell of an old Mac II fx.
...you read The Lite
Side. And you've ever forwarded an article to someone. In the
daytime when you were thinking clearly, not exhausted from staying up
all night drinking Diet Coke with caffeine. 
Recent Lite Sides
- What if Apple thought like a PC company?, 11.01. Apple has innovated and blazed its own trail. But what if it had followed the path taken by the PC copycats?
- How Microsoft can turn Vista lemons into lemonade, 10.22. How Microsoft could profit by no longer allowing manufacturers to sell new PCs with Windows XP installed.
- iPods that never passed beta or focus groups, 09.13. "What most Apple fans don't realize is that there were a few iPod variants that never made it out of beta testing and the focus group stage."
- Pigs fly, snow in Death Valley, and Dvorak uses a Mac, 08.03. What has the world come to when John Dvorak, founding member of the Axis of Macevil, walks into the temple of All Things Macintosh?
- More in the The Lite Side index.
Links for the Day
- Mac of the Day: 15" iMac G4/800 MHz, Jan. 2002 - The iMac is redesigned with a flat panel display and G4 CPU.
- Group of the Day: G4 List is for those using Power Mac G4s or G4 upgrades.
- January 7 in LEM history: 97: Mac OS 7.6 - 99: What color iMac do you want? - 00: S900 chronicles - 02: Who let the iMac out? - Expo keynote - iMac G4 - 14" iBook 600 - iCab fastest low-end browser - Addressing battery problems - 03: 12" PowerBook G4 - 17" PowerBook G4 - Changes in Jaguar - 04: Waiting for the tipping point - 05: Headless Mac an upgrade path for low end users - 08: Could OS X DRM drive users to Linux? - Netscape dead, but its children live on
Recent Content on Low End Mac
- Blackouts and Web Access, Death of a Kanga, the Future of PowerPC Macs, and More, Charles W. Moore, Miscellaneous Ramblings, 01.07. Also another email client suggestion and whether a G3 iMac can handle a 7200 rpm hard drive without overheating.
- How Netbooks Impact Microsoft and Apple, Tim Nash, Taking Back the Market, 01.07. Netbooks are keeping Windows XP alive, which may slow adoption of Windows 7, and perceived value keeps the Mac market share growing at the expense of Windows.
- The Ill-Fated Apple III, Jason Walsh, Apple Before the Mac, 01.07. "...not only was the Apple III mind crunchingly expensive, it was made with none of the passion of the Apple II or Macintosh."
- Apple III Chaos: Apple's First Failure, Joshua Coventry, Cortland, 01.07. Apple had known nothing but success with its Apple II product line, but when it tried to enter the business world with the Apple III, the learned the cost of failure.
- Apple's Worst Business Decisions: Another Perspective, Dan Knight, Mac Musings, 01.07. Apple's poor business decisions predate the Macintosh. Let's hope they learn from their mistakes.
- 2 Apple Failures: Apple III and Lisa, Tom Hormby, Orchard, 01.07. Apple's two not-so-great product lines between the Apple II line and the Macintosh.
- 17" Unibody MacBook Pro, 01.06. Thinner and lighter than ever, the unibody model tops out with 8 GB of RAM and a 2.93 GHz clock speed.
- Apple's Half-Baked Support for DisplayPort, Frank Fox, Stop the Noiz, 01.06. The DisplayPort specification supports audio, so why does Apple use USB to route sound to the LED Cinema Display?
- Adventures with an Overheating PowerBook, the 10.5.6 Update, and Other Things, Charles W. Moore, Miscellaneous Ramblings, 01.06. After three years of reliable service, the PowerBook began to run so hot that the fan was almost always on. What was causing the problem, and what would fix it?
- No, an Overgrown iPod touch Is Not a Netbook, Dan Knight, Mac Musings, 01.06. BlackBerry pretends its Storm is a netbook, but a netbook needs to be big enough for a typable keyboard.
- Apple IIe Nostalgia: A Reunion 15 Years in the Making, Tommy Thomas, Welcome to Macintosh, 01.06. Sometimes nostalgia is all you remembered, like when you get to recreate your first computing experience from the Apple II era.
- VisiCalc and the Rise of the Apple II, Tom Hormby, Orchard, 01.06. "VisiCalc was first released for the Apple II, which quickly became an invaluable tool for businesspeople - at least until IBM moved into the 'personal computing' market in 1981."
- Apples from Other Orchards: Apple II Clones, Joshua Coventry, Cortland, 01.06. Before the IBM PC spawned compatibles, companies around the world cloned the Apple II - some with more success than others.
- Interview with Dan Bricklin, Inventor of the Electronic Spreadsheet, Joshua Coventry, Cortland, 01.06. Until 1979, a spreadsheet was something you did by hand. VisiCalc changed all that and gave personal computers the first 'killer app'.
- 9.6% Mac Market Share, Quanta to Supply New iMac, New Mac mini a Go, Macintosh at 25, and More, Mac News Review, 01.05. Also what's missing from Apple's product line?, unattended online backup with MyOtherDrive, first USB 3.0 storage solutions, Find Any File, and more.
- Large Form iPod Coming?, Touch Screens a 'Huge Mistake', EarBud Yo-Yo, and More, iNews Review, 01.05. Also iPhone now at Walmart, iPhone trounces BlackBerry Storm for satisfaction, iPod video conversion software for Mac, and more.
- Intel's Quad-core Mobile CPU, Prevent OS X 10.5.6 Crashes, 'Netbook' Name Under Fire, and More, The 'Book Review, 01.05. Also the Age of the Notebook, build a cardboard laptop stand, MacBook reviews, bargain 'Books from $170 to $2,299, and more.
- Origin of the Apple I and Apple II Computers, Tom Hormby, Orchard, 01.05. From the first behemoth computers to the Apple II+, the computer that drove the personal computer revolution.
- Personal Computer History: The First 25 Years, Dan Knight, 01.05. A brief history of the first quarter-century of personal computing.
- Apple Has Always Been a Niche Player, Dan Knight, Mac Musings, 01.05. "Despite the myths, Apple has never been a dominant player in the personal computer industry."
- More links in our archive.
Recent Deals
- Best 15" MacBook Pro Deals, 01.06. Used 1.83 GHz, $900; 2.16, $1,090; 2.33, $1,295; new 2.4 Penryn, $1,350 after rebate; 2.5, $1,485 a/r; 2.6, $1,649; new 2.4 Unibody, $1,824 a/r.
- Best G3 iMac Deals, 01.06. Used 350 MHz CD, $42; 500 MHz, $59; 450 MHz DVD, $60; 600 MHz CD-RW, $200 shipped; 700 MHz Combo, $379 shipped.
- Best Mac OS X 10.5 'Leopard' Deals, 01.06. Mac OS X 10.5, single user, $104 shipped; 5 users, $148 shipped; 10.5 Server, 10 users, $363 shipped; unlimited users, $752 shipped.
- Best Power Mac G4 and AGP Video Card Deals, 01.05. Used 400 MHz, $50; 733, $166; 800, $199; 1 GHz, $290; 867 MHz dual, $200, 1 GHz, $300; 1.25, $450; 1.42, $599.
- Best classic iPod Deals, 01.05. Used 40 GB 4G, $135 shipped; new 80 GB iPod classic, $160 shipped; 120 GB, $225 shipped; refurb 160 GB, $249 shipped; new, $280 shipped.
- Best titanium PowerBook G4 Deals, 01.05. Used 400 MHz DVD, $320; 550 MHz, $480; 867 MHz Combo, $500; 1 GHz Combo, $590; SuperDrive, $900.
- Best Mac OS X 10.4 'Tiger' Deals, 01.02. DVD upgrade from 10.3, $75; full version, $129; family pack, $200; 10-user Server, $350; unlimited users, $400.
- Best iMac G4 Deals, 01.02. Used 15" 800 MHz Combo, $280; 1 GHz, $380; 17" 1 GHz SD, $399; 1.25 GHz, $449; 20", $549.
- Best MacBook Air Deals, 01.02. Used 1.6 GHz 80 GB, $1,100; refurb, $1,149; new 120, $1,740 a/r; refurb 1.8 GHz 80, $1,199; 64 SSD, $1,699; new 1.86 GHz 120, $1,999, 128 SSD, $2,368 a/r.
- More deals in our archive.
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